My best friend sex

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Falling in love with your best friend seems to be a very common thing. Maybe it's the close bond you form that blurs the line between the romantic and platonic. Maybe understanding each other means you're more likely to look at your best friend in a more-than-friends way.

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It was late. We were drunk, hanging out in their dated Fishtown row. We were 19 or 20, and she was my best friend from grade school.

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Have you ever woken up from a sex dream about someone so random and totally unexpected, that you're just like, WTF? But even more strange is when you wake up from a sex dream with someone really close to you, like a sex dream about your best friend. After all, is it normal to have a sex dream about them?

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Surprisingly, a common theme that arises in relationship counselling is that sex starts to lose its appeal as the bond between people grows. A love partner stops being a figure of desire in the bedroom and starts to feel like a good friend. Sex becomes routine, boring, without passion, mundane, a chore, tiring, or any number of uninspiring things.

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Obviously taking friendship to the next level tends to go wrong for a lot of people, for us, it made our friendship even stronger. It made me realize how much we trusted each other. Because we had an already established friendship, there was a huge amount of trust between us and this was clearer than ever when we had sex.

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A mutual friend told us we'd get along. On our first night out, we went to a punk show, ate blowfish sashimi, and talked about the Wu-Tang Clan. That summer, we tested my fake ID at after-hours clubs and took intimate walks, where we parsed his recent breakup.

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Illustration by Camilla Ru. My First Time is a column and podcast series exploring sexuality, gender, and kink with the wide-eyed curiosity of a virgin. We all know your "first time" is about a lot more than just popping your cherry. From experimenting with kink to just trying something new and wild, everyone experiences thousands of first times in the bedroom—that's how sex stays fun, right?

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I MEANT just to comfort my best friend, who was very upset about her boyfriend — but we ended up having incredible sex and now I am torn between her and my girlfriend. Afterwards we said we loved each other but we thought it would spoil our friendship if we became boyfriend and girlfriend, so we left it there. Your best friend says her boyfriend is treating her badly — why is she staying with someone who makes her unhappy?

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The problem with men who fall in love with their best friend is their systematic tendency to set aside their own feelings, wants, and needs. Their first priority is making the lady happy, trying to never offend her. Rather than bringing them closer, in reality it is ruining their chances.

Comments

  • Alex 7 days ago

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  • Lionel 18 days ago

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  • Orion 12 days ago

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